Today 09/30/2010

So today is one of those days where your trying to figure everything in life out..really? lol It's as though a big joke right?, "trying to figure life out" theres just no way. It gets more difficult and more frustrating the more we think about it, the more we annalyze details. I was once told that I think too much, well maybe so, but it's only cause it's more like a defense. I try and annalyze why my life or others, is the way it is, ya know. I cry, get angry and hate myself often, and then get to where i'm laughing cause it all made no sense. lol It's life. The big things that frustrate us and the little things that can litterly make us cry. So, ok. I've seen hate in all different forms, some is self and yet other times is in someones eyes. My question is, how can someone say they love you, yet in thier eyes is a bigger story? You can feel love by just a touch, yet see hate by one glance. Love is in a warm smile or the giggle in ones laughter, yet hate is in ones voice or the way they can just exclude you like your not even in the same room. And if this is all true, then why is love soo dam hard to grasp and hate floats upon us like smog in the night air? I know people say i see things way different then most, but truly, sometimes I really wish I didn't. Because it hurts, it's a knife I can't pull out or a finger on a trigger I just want to tighten. I breath in smog daily, yet would die for the smell of sweetness. A kind word to make my day, a gesture I didn't have to ask for. A hug unannounced. Oh well, that's life right/ Or mine anyway. Till next time ya'll.